So having family in town and facing some long deep seeded ancestral roots is not for the faint of heart I will tell you that. Here is a brief, and rough, outline as to the the timeline of what forces came together when my cousin, Antia, from Spain sat down to dinner with my father.
My dad was born in 1957; full custody of him was given to his mother and maternal grandmother in 1959. At that time my father's dad, as many divorced/immigrant dads in the 1950s left his child behind.
Fast-forward to November 2011 when I was able to travel to Spain in search of my Spanish roots. When I found them it was first contact my family, here in the states, would have with its Spanish side since 1959.
I kept in touch with the family and informed everyone stateside of their relatives in Europe this was not something my father wanted nor something that I wanted to him to be uncomfortable about, my reasons were my own but I did have to let him know I found his father because at the time it was obvious that he was not going to live much longer.
In 2012 my Father got in a horrific motorcycle accident to which he has yet to return to work from 2 years on. 6 months after this accident his father dies have not spoken or seen my father since 1959.
Last week, you may recall, I hiked with my cousin Antia. When she and Saul arrived on Sunday July 6th 2014, we sat down to dinner with my father bringing all of this history together over pasta. Although nothing flagrant went on over dinner, other than a few rude and machismo remarks from my father toward me which I understand because as I see it his deep seeded emotions and blue collar manly attitude would definitely have to mask the weight of what was happening, I think it was a little stressful.
The next night I had a horrible back spasm and woke up without the ability to sense temperature in my right leg, a few days later I lost partial mobility in my left, 2 days after that I went numb over my left hip. This became a serious concern and I entered the ER at Stroger County Hospital and after 5 days with a Steroid drip I was diagnosed with MS. I do not accept that I "have" MS but only that I was diagnosed as having it. I have a great attitude about it as far as I can tell and really I just want to say fuck the stress yo. this may be something and it may not but either way whoever you are talk to your father love the people that brought you here life is way too short to be hating.
After all that I got to visit with a man who helped me put so much of this pain behind me over the last 20 years, a mentor, and someone that I have seen as a father for over 20 years. I want to thank Tom Torleumke for the love he shares and teaches throughout his life and I will always do the right thing because I learned how to love myself through all I have learned from you.