Doing Better Doing Worse
October 6, 2022
The world we find ourselves in is a constant comparison. From birth, we watched as our parents compared themselves, and their situation, to other parents. Then we witnessed them compare us to our peers. The whole time we were being groomed to believe that we measured ourselves through others.
Whether it is some position we can have at our job or in society, or if it is something that we can buy, we are coaxed into thinking that life is about comparing.
All of that falls under the category of living under the influence. Comparing ourselves to others puts us in a situation where we are uncomfortable. Why? Because the goals of another person are not necessarily ours. So, those goals, depending on who, or what, we compare ourselves to, are arbitrary.
We are groomed to compare, and by so doing we find ourselves uncomfortable. Then we are led to pacify that discomfort. All the while looking outside ourselves and, continuing to compare, asking "Why don't I have that?"
I have written a version of the ancient text the Tao te Ching and verse 3 speaks of inspiring people to be strong
Praising the status one can achieve
Will chastise those who don’t achieve it.
Praising a possession that can be owned
Will condemn those who don’t own it.
When nothing arouses competition
People will be at peace.
The Master leads by not defining status or possession.
She weakens the ambition of those around her
Which toughens their resolve to be as they are.
By individuals releasing their ambition,
Everything falls into place.
When we praise things like fame, money, or grades/education we inadvertently ask the world to compare themselves to this "standard." That happened because it is a natural desire to receive praise. It is also something most of us have not received while those who were in charge of loving us were too busy comparing us, and themselves, to others.
If you are interested in learning about how you can step away from comparing yourself, and the people you love, to others, then you are ready to begin a journey to recover yourself. Respond to this email and let's set up a time to talk further.