Although I can't say that growing up a below-average student made me smarter, it did make me question many things. As a kid, I found myself in summer school year after year. My being ignorant, or stupid, was clear most of my life, not necessarily because I was, but I believed I was.

As I got out of my addictive behaviors, which in part existed to hide me from how inadequate I felt, I had to address my ignorance. I did that not by forcing myself to learn what others wanted me to learn, but to learn those things that excited me. As it turned out all of those things were uniquely me. My art, my interviewing and all that exists in my life today exists because it is who I am. By having already held the stigma of being wrong, or stupid, I was not afraid to be myself, whoever that would turn out to be.

Am I whole today? No, but I am as whole as I can be today. I am aware I have blind spots and I am always looking for truths in my life. Without having grown up with the stigma of "stupid" and then transitioned that to "addict" I may have not been blessed with the ability to be aware of, and acknowledge, my ignorance.

I love you,